you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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