well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
