please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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