Have you finally orgasmed yet?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
