ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
