There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize