i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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