Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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