nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
