i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
