TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
