okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
