I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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