I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
