I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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