As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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