He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He better not be in your backpack
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
