Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm passing your future prison.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
