TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
