Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
