oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize