Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
