I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
