Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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