38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
