it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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