I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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