I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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