found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
