Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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