how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
