Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
