come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
