Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize