Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize