PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
