That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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