my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
