Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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