im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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