eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize