Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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