Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
