You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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