YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
