got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
