Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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