No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
