How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
