Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
