I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
