Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
