Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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