is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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