You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
