So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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