For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize