so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
