We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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