there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just want nice things and good sex
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
