I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
