Apparently you make a good broom.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
