I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
